She looks so beautiful as you look down over her shoulder. Her hair, a tangled sweaty mess, sticks to her blindfolded face as her body convulses yet again. She can’t see you, but she feels your control. She holds a marble tightly in her hand as she strains against the straps tying her arms behind the chair. She knows that there are only two ways that you will stop, either she drops the marble onto the floor, or you decide that she has had enough. She presses the marble harder into her palm as you reach down over her body once again, the wand massager buzzing angrily.
As discussed briefly in several other posts, the umbrella term of orgasm control consists of various components. Whilst those posts discussed orgasm denial, edging and ruined orgasms, this time we will talk about what is a forced orgasm in BDSM.
A Forced Orgasm Doesn’t Sound Too Bad Does It?
At its most basic, a forced orgasm sexual play session in a BDSM context refers to inducing orgasms to a consenting submissive partner over and over again without allowing them time to recover in between.
So surely a forced orgasm doesn’t sound too bad, does it? Everyone loves to orgasm, the feel-good endorphins rushing through your mind and body as you climax. However, whilst the initial four or five or six forced orgasms in a scene might be appealing, eventually the continuous stimulation becomes a form of punishment, a pleasurable pain. As each subsequent forced orgasm occurs the submissive partner’s erogenous zones becomes so hypersensitive that each touch becomes overstimulation.
What do you need to play?
Nothing! Manual or oral stimulation is a sex act that is free and always available. However, sex toys certainly do help to maintain the longevity of a forced orgasm scene and its intensity levels. If you don’t own them already, I would suggest getting yourself the following:
1. Wand Massager
Unlike penetrating sex toys like g-spot vibrators, a wand massager is a sex toy that is designed for external use only. With a motor contained in the head of the wand, they offer deep rumbly vibrations that provide an intense internal and external vibration when applied to the genitals.
Some brands of wands also allow for varied attachments to be fitted including sleeves for male genitalia, as well as an assortment designed for female pleasure.
We have five wands now, recently adding a Doxy Die Cast 3R to our collection. We find that whilst small wands are great and can be used anywhere, for the purposed of forced orgasm play the sensations that can be achieved by the larger wands with more powerful motors are almost unsurpassable. The deep rumblings and high speeds are able to push through the sexual response phases very quickly, often inducing multiple orgasms.
When looking to buy a new wand keep in mind that quality does matter with these things – a decent battery life, a variety of settings, and a strong motor are essential. From past experience there are some cheap and nasty versions out there so have a look at a few online reviews before you purchase. You might get lucky, but motor burnout really sucks.
One last thing, whether you are looking to invest in a wand massager or already have one, if you decide that forced orgasms are your kink then I would recommend that you consider also getting a wand harness. Strap one of them onto the submissive and then the dominant partner can take a break and let the massager do all the work for them (insert evil laugh muhahaha). Bella has a love/hate relationship with being left in the room while I have a coffee break on the balcony.
2. Restraints
There are a multitude of different items around the home that you can use as a restraint in a forced orgasm scene. Belts are fairly common, as are dinner ties and stockings.
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Cuffs
If you want something a bit extra you can get ankle and wrist cuffs fairly cheaply, however, unless you buy good quality products it is amazing how easily they can break (the chain attached to the ‘D’ rings are usually pretty flimsy). I’ve bought a couple of sets through Amazon previously and they broke literally within minutes of an impact play scene starting.
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Bondage Rope
Bondage rope is pretty cheap also although it does carry quite severe risks if you are not really sure of what you are doing – wrists and ankles contain lots of nerves which can be mistakenly compressed if the rope is in the wrong position.
3. Blindfold
Although not really necessary I always find that it adds that little bit extra to your forced orgasm play session. The anticipation of not knowing what is happening at any given point in time can greatly heighten the sensations.
Again, you can probably use what you have at home already, but I like to hang a proper blindfold on Bella’s side of the bed as a constant reminder, even when we are going about our normal life.
What is R.A.C.K?
As with all BDSM play related scenes, it is important to follow the Risk Aware Consensual Kink philosophy. All participants to a session of forced orgasms must be fully aware of all the risks involved before informed consent can be granted. A forced orgasm without consent is sexual assault.
Whilst you mightn’t think that multiple forced orgasms carried any risk in general, there may be some risks involved in your particular situation. For example, make sure that any sex toys being used are clean and in working order. Are any restraints being used? Can the submissive be released from them quickly if there is a safety concern? Does the submissive have any heart issues as a prolonged and intense forced orgasm session might have a negative effect on their health.
You should also discuss and decide on any safe words or cues prior to engaging in a forced orgasm role play scene. In the introductory paragraph, the submissive partner was holding onto a marble, knowing that when she reaches her limit, she can release it onto the floor and the dominant partner would immediately stop play.
Whilst that is an example of a non-verbal cue, you could also use the stop-light system for safe words (green – go, yellow – slow down, red – STOP) or a pleasure / pain scale (1 – go, 10 – STOP).
Aftercare
Being subjected to multiple forced orgasms is a very intense experience, whether it is your first time or not. Whilst you may be able to give yourself multiple orgasms and be totally fine afterwards, where the scene involves two (or more) people the mix of dominance, submission and power play requires an absolute need for prior communication and consent.
As such, part of the initial R.A.C.K discussion should always include the aftercare requirements for both the Dominant and the submissive partner. The after effect of experiencing multiple forced orgasms can leave the recipient absolutely depleted and unable to communicate effectively. Commonly known as sub-drop, symptoms can include body aches and pains, tiredness, hunger or thirst, even depression or sadness.
Whilst an experienced submissive is likely to know what they need as part of their aftercare, for first timers it will likely be an overwhelming experience. It is therefore necessary for the dominant partner to pay special attention to the submissive, providing anything from food to cuddles to giving them their personal space. As always, have fun experimenting with forced orgasms.
If have any questions about this or another topic that we have written about, or would like us to cover a particular topic, please feel free to leave a comment below and we will be more than happy to help you out.